The Status Game: On Social Position & How We Use It
This Game Underpins Everything We Do. Find Out How To Play It!
This is the game that essentially underpins our society. The pursuit of status is why we do many of the things that we do, and how we earn it has changed over the course of our history. We all have many desires in life such as having a nice house, luxury car, loving family, and a successful job. The doors to which are unlocked by acquiring status.
The protection or pursuit of status is everywhere. It is in the online culture, the political scene, the hierarchy of your workplace, and even within your friendship group. In this book, Will Storr reveals the different types of status games, why having a ‘tight group’ leads to its collapse, the impact of social media, and how to play the game successfully.
“Life is a game”, says Will Storr and the Status Game is the most important one.
Keep reading for my key three lessons!
Lesson 1: The Three Games
Storr states that there are three main types of games at play:
Dominance
Virtue
Success
Dominance refers to brute force and is where status is won through brute force and fear. This is usually the type of status earned through dictatorship, aggression, and violence.
Virtue is where status is awarded to people who are ‘obedient and moralistic’. This is the type of status that society was built upon in previous generations before moving to a game of success.
Success is the most prevalent in modern society. This is where status is awarded in relation to achievements that require the development of skills and application of knowledge.
All 3 of these are at play at the same time, with one or two being more prominent than the others.
Virtue and Success games fall under the bracket of ‘Prestige Games’ as Storr calls them. We gain prestige, respect, and reputation through both of these games. Obtaining these through dominance is much more fragile and likely to break down over a short period of time (e.g. rebellions and revolutions).
So in return for being moralistic and obedient (Virtue) and building our skillset to achieve more (Success) we are rewarded with prestige amongst our co-players which enables us to progress.
This rewards us with more status within our group.
Lesson 2: The Slot Machine Of Status
Social Media is an ingrained part of our life. It is also a hub for status games to be played.
It is addictive through the unpredictability of what we will see and the likes we will get. The opportunity to gain status is endless.
Every time we post, we are essentially bidding for status.
Some people post about how good their life is, their achievements, their morals and beliefs (Success and Virtue games at play here) for all to see in the hope of a return in likes (prestige and status).
You never know what you are going to get and that's what makes it so addictive. It also makes it dangerous.
It only shows a glimpse of people's lives and comparison is where we can start to feel our status is in decline.
Storr says that:
“When we earn connection and status we thrive, when we lose it we can become sick, sad, suicidal, and murderous.”
So, it is easy to see how someone else's bid for status and prestige (posting on social media) can lead to anxiety and depression by creating a sense that our status is in decline through comparison.
Lesson 3: How To Play The Game
In the last chapter, Storr reveals 7 rules to follow to be successful in the game. One of these being to practice warmth, sincerity, and competence.
I think this is a great rule to apply.
“The way we give to others has an effect on how much status they’ll give us”, says Storr.
So by being warm, receptive, and kind to someone shows that you are not playing a game of dominance. Which means they are more likely to reward you with status and prestige.
Being sincere shows you are not playing a game of virtue and that you will play fairly.
Showing competence demonstrates that you are valuable to everyone around you, leading to success.
Implementing these 3 elements allow you to be useful within the game and also a trustworthy player.
A second rule that Storr adds is to play a hierarchy of games. Attaching yourself too strongly to one game leaves you vulnerable to dreams and illusions within it. When that game collapses, so does your identity. Becoming obsessed with one game makes the game tight and is how cults develop.
Playing a multitude of games at different levels of contribution allows you to keep your identity separate.
Conclusion
This is a fascinating book that will open your eyes to the game that we are all unknowingly playing. Understanding the dynamics of status and how to use it is vital for progression within society and is vital for a society to progress. Will Storr is a brilliant storyteller who makes a seemingly complex topic easy to digest.